I have been a hot mess express as of late. A lot of things have changed at work, I recently started Burn Boot Camp so my body aches in ways that I didn't know possible, and I'm just a grouchy puddle of good for nothing. So I figured I'd try and commit to at least one day of blogging a week. No rules. The only expectation is that I stick to that. Writing makes me happy and my heart a little lighter so it's kinda free therapy. Even though, if you know me, you'd probably agree I should go to real therapy and sit on someone's couch, real soon.
But back to the feelings. Every major life event, I feel, either feels super isolating or tremendously welcoming. In my experience, getting married was like admittance to a club where the booze is flowing and the dj plays your favorite songs all night long. Motherhood on the other hand has been this awkward grey area of in-betweens. You suddenly have open arms welcoming you in the form of faces you love but have never met in real life (hey Insta-mom friends!) but if you're like me, one of the first to have babies in my crew, there's also this weird space of what comes next.
So to make months worth of anguish (okay that's a bit dramatic) a short story, a few weeks ago I found myself sobbing in my best friends car trying to explain how isolating it felt to be a mom. She had NO idea I was feeling this way because I hate feeling vulnerable and she has the kind of eyes you can't look into with feelings on your chest and not end up crying! But I talked and she listened. And then she talked and I listened. And it really is a tale as old as time (insert bad singing), but people really can't be there for you if you don't invite them in.
It took me waaay to long to learn that. Like, months of ugly crying to Mike long. And now I'm doing better to make sure that I create less space between myself and some of the other mamas in my life. The images below were from this past weekend when we got together with one of my best friends (my god son's mom) and spent a few hours at the park. I'm ashamed to say this is the first time we'd gotten together as a family BUT I'm committed to making it stick.
So, hug a mama today. Share your feelings. Make plans. Give the love you want to receive.