We are in a season of waiting. Soon I will go into why we're waiting and what we're waiting for, but good grief the waiting is hard. I feel like Mike and I both kind of have the blues so I figured I should take some time to record some things I'm thankful for, right in this moment. I keep telling him that like any other season change or with any other life event, you can always look back and think, "so that's why that took so long!" or "well dang, that did all add up for my good!". So I as sit here, lacking any tiny bit of creativity or inspiration and am feeling in a bit of a slump, here's my list.
I am thankful for:
- A husband that continuously proves how easy he is to love. He's been through a lot in the last few weeks and I know it can be tough to be strong, but I see you babe. You are always shining. I hope my love has made this season a little softer.
- Two boys that are hard-headed but are softening me to my core. These days, probably more than when they were infants, I catch myself staring at them in awe. It's almost a battle between wanting to cry because they keep growing and wanting to hide because they won't stop trying my patience. Either way, there are likely tears involved and blame it on the season or the weather, but my Grinchy heart is about to explode. This mama thing never makes sense, but it is oh, so good.
- Everybody in the Quil family. DayQuil, NyQuil, all of them. The flu has rocked our little unit and I may have snapped on Mike a few times (I am SOOOOO sorry for what I said before I took my meds), but we are slowly coming back to normal and I'm glad about it.
- A job that I don't always love, but allows me to support my family. If I could tell you how many times a day I want to throw my computer at the wall.. well, you could probably relate. There are a lot of those times. BUT, there are also a lot of times where I can see what this job allows me and in this season, its most evident.
- Even though in this moment, I'm feeling like some kind of creative imposter (is that even a thing?!), I'm thankful for the talents that God's given me, even though I don't know what I want/need to do with them. This time of year always seems to be a struggle for me in the 'what the heck am I supposed to be doing with my life' category. I don't know if I'm alone in feeling this way, but its a heavy weight and I just don't know what to do. None of my creative endeavors (photography, painting, blah blah blah...) feel good enough right now. And I don't even know to whom they don't feel good enough for?! If it's not evident by now, did I mention I'm in a slump?
- The carrot cake whoopie pies at Trader Joe's.
- A God who listens, yet does things His way. Because His way is always better.
- Opportunity. Because you don't stay in a slump forever and on the other side of any bad mood is opportunity for a lot of good to happen or be created. And if you're really lucky, a cocktail is there too.