As Dean's due date gets closer my thoughts have seemed to shift closer to what I'm doing to make him proud. Questions like how will I build (rebuild?) Akia + Co and what will it be? I'm kind of at a loss friends. Do I take on more clients or switch my gears and change course? I always see moms write things like "hustle for your dreams and your kid notices" and "build an empire for your baby", and I truly want to do those things but mommy's pointer is just a little off in the direction in which to go right now if we're being honest. It's hard to ignore the feelings of confusion when our new electronic age of supermom bloggers and Facebook feminist insist you must not only grow this child, but also show it what a bad ass mom you are as you juggle taking care of it, working a 9-to-5, and hustling your heart out on a side hobby to then quit said 9-to-5. It's become the new American dream (from a moms perspective) so it seems. And who doesn't want a taste of that? To blog full time as well as go on shoots with the most gorgeous couples all while wearing my perfectly behaved babe in my popular Instagram famous carrier. It seems like the dream.
And you know what? That's just what it is. A dream. I suppose the truth of the matter is that it's not real and things take time. Scratch that, not all of it is real at once. The beautiful part about social media is that it makes it easy for you to rejoice in other peoples successes. To see the highs and bask in them. It also makes it easier to forget that the content of those little squares don't make up the entire picture. It takes life time to mold you into what you're going to become. It's a never ending turn of events that make us polished. I guess I've gotten to the point where I will still dream the dreams but I will aspire to become more polished. I want to take on life and live the experiences that will shine me and guide me in the right direction. Why do we put so much pressure on ourselves to be perfectly complete anyway?