What They Don't Tell You About Being Pregnant v.1

You will always throw up.

Seriously, you will. I feel like going into this pregnancy I knew my odds of morning sickness were pretty high. I mean, you can’t really even talk to a pregnant lady without her griping about being hunched over the toilet bowl at any given moment. Now I am that pregnant lady. Not griping per say, but I have a new found respect for what mama-to-be’s go through in the regurgitation department.

For me, it’s throw up in the morning or your whole day is doomed to be a sad ball of ‘why didn’t I get this over with earlier’. Get it done in the morning, and my day goes by smoothly without a hint of nausea again. Not too bad in the grand scheme of things. Oh but there are moments. Sweet and tender moments that have left me feeling so ashamed and sorry for my husband.

Those moments usually come in the form of, “Baby I really don’t want anything we have in our packed to capacity refrigerator. Could you please grab me some (insert fast food chain here)? I’ll love you forever”. The husband happily obliges and I happily scarf down the bounty he has so generously brought back for me. Until... wait... yep... you know it. Right back up. Left feeling guilty because this is the exact thing that happened last time you tried to eat that burger and large fries.

But it’s deeper than a feeling of regret. It’s what happens next that I feel I must share. Simply, because babycenter.com doesn’t tell you the length of desperation a pregnant woman will go to to satisfy that craving she’s been having for those McDonald’s delicacies. Enter shame stage left as you pick your body up off the bathroom floor, grab a towel to wipe your face, and plop back down on the bed to consume the corner of the burger that still remains and the fries that were left at the bottom of the bag. It’s true.

Moral of the story, when pregnant women tell you they have morning sickness there are depths of that statement that are only experienced while dragging the squishy shower mat from its rightful home over to the toilet so that at least you can hurl in comfort. 

Ps: Nope this is not a stock image. These don't even put a dent in how many test we actually took.